Thanksgiving

Okay, so I know it has been a while but this is a nice long one to catch everyone up.

I have to admit that Thanksgiving’s in my home were absolutely wonderful. They were never crazy and full of the so-called “tales of unfortunate events”. This past Thanksgiving though had more funny, odd, and strange occurrences than I can even begin to explain.

It all begins with the trip down from Oklahoma to Houston. My original plan was to head down with one of my very good friends on Tuesday morning and spend the week with family. Yay! Done. BUUTTT, that is not at all what happened. You see the Sunday before I was planning on heading down I got a lovely email saying that a meeting had been scheduled on that Wednesday….yes indeed the day before Thanksgiving and the day after i had planned on heading down. Now I am a mature and adult-like person so naturally I called my mother in tears saying and I quote, “I”M NOT COMING HOME FOR THANKSGIVING!!!!” kim-kardashian-crying-o

To which point my mother started coming up with every possible plan to get me home, which included a plane, train, bus, and her driving to get me. After lots of tears and plans we finally got one settled which was that I would be taking a plane very  very late Wednesday night. Then I got another email…yes, an email saying that the meeting had been moved to Tuesday afternoon. Which sent us into another tail spend of what we could do. After another hour or 3 of trying to figure it out we landed with the luck that another friend, Jamie, was driving to San Antonio and she would be willing to take me bright and early Wednesday morning.

The drive with Jamie was great we talked and laughed and listen to music, everything you want in a road trip. The drive then took a turn when we got to her grandmother’s house, who is probably one of the sweetest people you will meet, but does in fact have more than a few screws loose in those lovely white curls of hers. For when you walk in to Grandmothers house you will find 20, yes 20, fully furry and fully grown kitty cats. And as much as I would love to say this was an exaggeration it’s not. She has a cat named Peachy that licks any thing that gets near her. A cat that has no tail, one that mysteriously disappears and reappears in windows, one that drinks from a toilet, two that follow you around, one that turns into professor McGonagall and one named Bill. Did I happen to mention by the way that I’m allergic to cats, I currently live with a cat and have allergy medication that takes care of me when its one cat or maybe even two but my medication was not prepared for 20 cats. Needless to say I pretty much died after walking in. All of a sudden I turned in to a mix between Pizza the Hut from Spacebars and a gigantic ball of mucus. So that rounds up my symptoms to include but not limit a stuffy nose, sore throat, itchy watery eyes, sneezes that caused earthquakes and a little spot on my hand that I believe to be Ebola. But I doubt that has anything to do with the cats, anyway! We ended up spending 3 hours at her grandmother’s house which I ended up spending 2 and a half of those outside in the truck trying to not die. Lucky, I hadn’t slept the night before so I was able to take a nap. Once we did end up getting on the road, Grandmother drove and to be completely honest I believed her water bottle to be full of vodka because i don’t know any other way to get the courage to play Chicken with an 18-Wheeler. Oh yes indeed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a little old woman piss so many people off since my Nana went to the south side of Houston TX. You know I bet they would be best friends. Now I am giving Jamie a lot of crap i have to take a moment and say that I am incredibly thankful for the ride and everything they did for me. I finally changed custody off to my mother’s car by about 8pm. Now at that point my throat felt like one of those cats had climbed down it. It was probably Bill, freakin’ Bill. My mother and I reached my sisters house at about 10pm talked for maybe an hour and then promptly went to bed.

You would think the story ends there but it continues. 2am rolled around and my mother rolls over to a barley breathing me, who hasn’t slept at all because of the discomfort I was in, and says in a voice that sounded somewhere between and bird chirp and a saint, “GO down stairs Taylor, you be so much more comfortably on the couch”. Yea, cause that’s where every husband goes when they’ve behaved perfectly. 3 hours later my mother walked down stairs woke me up. Kinda..put a hand on my head and stated the beautiful words, “You have a fever”. Just what I needed on Thanksgiving, A fever of 101.

So let’s recap so far, I had to completely rearrange plans not only once but twice. I put up a fight with the allergen known as Cats and lost terribly and that had now caused a fever of 101 on thanksgiving morning. How could it possibly become an even better thanksgiving!?

Well, apparently fate had decided I had paid my dues and then focused its attention to my sister, who at 8am managed to somehow fill the entire first floor of their house with smoke from the oven but also managed not to let a single smoke detector go off, which I’m sure she should look at but that’s beside the point. Needless to say every door and window were open and every cookie sheet was waving at full force in hopes of clearing the smoke. I can only imagine what their neighbors thought. For those of you at this point who are wondering what my sister was talented enough to burn with that much force and no fire, was sugar. You see one of our traditions is to make these giant cinnamon rolls and hash brown casserole.  Well in some magical way the sugar mixture we put on the cinnamon rolls started to seep out the sides of the pan and spill directly on the the coils below…creating waves of smoke that I can only describe to look like a Willie Nelson concert was going full force in the kitchen. To any point once the smoke had cleared, we had pulled EVERYTHING out of the oven and have let it cool I walked in to find my sister well like this..

Yes, that is my wonderful sister, Amanda scraping burnt sugar off the bottom of a mildly warm oven with a scrubby from the sink and a spatula.

After that, the fates decided she still hadn’t had enough, because while I was at home watch Big Hero 6 and Shrek, the rest of my family was at the Thanksgiving dinner at my brother-in-laws, brothers house. They may have a lovely pool that my niece and nephew just had to go in but ironically they were not the ones to cause the wonderful splash Amanda took.

Now it happened simply because she lost her balance, no trip, no push, just pure and utter clumsy-ness!! I have to be honest I should have felt sorry for her but I didn’t, all I knew was that I no longer was the only clumsy one of the family. Now the rest of the week was filled with wonderful moments such as my niece and mother doing a puzzle, getting together with the family, eating tons and food and sharing lots of laughter and love! And over all i love these stories for they will be shared years to come with even more laughter than when they happened.

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y’ALL!!!! Can’t wait to see what unfolds at Christmas!