Another One Bites The Dust 

I feel like I should take a bow while studdering over the words “Well That’s All Folks” because at this point I feel like my life is a series of comic strips and cartoon that just can’t be real. 


As today draws to a close as well as the door to yet a another botched first meeting with a potential mate I have to look back and wonder just where I could’ve gone wrong. Let’s recap. 


Ofcourse we could start with the one night stand (not my proudest moment) that stole my tv remote. Because he’s like a serial one night stander and that’s how he remembers his “victims”. Or well, that’s the explanation I came up with. 


There’s the one who lied about his age and his height. If I say I’m 5’6 please don’t say you’re 6’0 then arrive shorter than me. I will realize you’re lying. 


Or the one that went out, partied, got drunk, excuse me plastered, slept through our supposed date, rescheduled then slept through that one and eventually took me to Starbucks at 9pm when they closed an hour later. 


*update on this one he has now reappeared after not talking for several months. Motive still yet not known.*

There’s the blind dog and the sob story that I couldn’t help but fall for. But when he talks to you like he does his dog it gets a little to weird. 


There’s funny and shy guy who is sweet and caring but couldn’t “handle me”. 

The one who laughed like Seth Rogen. And I do mean exactly like him. 


The one who is still talking, still caring and is the nicest guy alive but just no spark. 

The one who was in fact an exact replica of my ex (personality wise) and with one phone call had me in tears and feeling like crap again. 

The one who just couldn’t figure things out. And blew me off 4 times then after a week of not talking sent me a dick pic and a note saying, “Good luck on finals”. 


The one who was shorter louder and ruder than ever expected. 

The clingy obsessive. I need you. I want you. You’re the love of my life. 


So obviously I’m doing great. But the few I leave out, the ones who have indeed touched my heart the ones who even if nothing else I call a friend. I keep you as reminder that maybe there is actaul hope for finding the right path someday. 

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