Tuesday Truths

Why bring children into the world?

I recently had a conversation with a co-worker who said she, “didn’t want kids because she couldn’t protect them from the world today” and “why would you want to bring a kid into this kind of place”? For a second I almost agreed saying I didn’t want a child to see the suffering of the world today but I didn’t agree nor disagree I just continued to think about it.

Why would we bring children into this world? Is it selfish to answer that question by simply saying “because I want kids”? What really is the right answer? Later that night I found the answer. I was reading a post on Tumblr and who knows if it’s true or not but it made me have the realization about children and why we need them in the world. The story is about a sister who is tucking her 3yr old brother into bed and he notices some cuts on her wrist. Long story short he ends up saying something along the lines of “nothing is so bad that you should hurt yourself, you are worth more”. The narrator finishes by saying her brother is the reason she stopped cutting because he didn’t judge her he just loved her.

 

That’s why children are in this world.

 

Children are in the world to remind us adults of innocence. They are here to remind us of love and compassion. You won’t find someone more compassionate that a toddler discovering his stuffed animal after thinking he’s lost it. Children don’t care about what you look like or sound like or where you went to school or what you wear. They care about YOU! Why is it that children are the ones to remind us of that? Shouldn’t we as adults be the more compassionate ones? Should we be the ones teaching them how to care for others? Why does it take a little one looking past everyone’s differences to remind us that differences don’t matter?

 

The truth is we do the opposite. Somewhere along the way of growing up children stop caring for others and only care for themselves, they become adults. Walt Disney once said, “that’s the real problem with the world today, too many people grow up”.  And I couldn’t find him more right. I don’t think he said it in a manner of adults needing to act like children, they need to see the world as children. It’s like Peter Pan, you forget as you become an adult, you lose the magic. But in this case magic isn’t pixie dust. Real world magic is love, is compassion, is going the extra mile for someone not because you have to but because you can and because it’s your duty as a human to care.

We teach kids to see the good in people yet as adults we are told not to trust and to always believe that people are working an angle or motive of their own. We teach kids the golden rule “treat others how you want to be treated”, yet if we had to follow that rule today society wouldn’t be able to look at itself in the mirror. We try to make kids understand that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but we as adults have put the honey in the back of the pantry as we stocked up on vinegar. Vinegar doesn’t fix the world it doesn’t protect you it burns what it touches. It kills what it touches. That’s truly what it’s used for. It’s used to clean away everything. We don’t need to clean the world of human interaction we need to attract it. We as a society need to stop for a second and take a look at the ones who haven’t been corrupted by the world yet and remember that the honey is the better choice.

 

photo credit: media.onsugar.com

Tuesday Truths

Today’s post is about more than just speaking out. Today’s post is about more than reacting. This is about more than one action from one event due to a few bad eggs. Today’s post is about understanding.

 

Understanding is the keystone on which all human kind, is founded upon. I’m not just talking about understanding others. I’m talking about understanding thoughts I’m talking about understanding actions, feelings, words, emotions, things that on a day-to-day basis we forget about. We forget about understanding people and where they come from. We talk about walking a mile in somebody else’s shoes but yet we don’t ever take the time to take off our own. How is it that in a world with so much technology and so many things about gay rights, and rights for women, and equality for everyone that we still are creating massive crimes fueled by hate? More so than we ever did back when it was unacceptable to call any of these things.

 

The honest truth is if we keep up these actions the hate crimes, the pain, the suffering, the acting out because we think we are entitled to something on the earth we’re going to end our species. When we were given this life to breathe, whether you believe in God or not, you weren’t promised anything. You have to work for things in life and we forgotten that. We’ve gotten used to being able to go to McDonald’s and be through in five minutes and if not we think we’ve been done wrong. Oh, and heaven for bid the person do something wrong on the other end of the line because if that happens all hell would break loose. We’ve all been there we’ve all done it we’ve all been standing in line and sighing and moaning and grumbling on about the fact that we’re not getting to through the line faster because we have places to go and we have people to see. We’ve all been there and that’s okay. We just have to understand that we can’t do it anymore. The honest truth is we shouldn’t be like that. With how America or even the world is changing about excepting people and being honest and being open why is it that we are still fighting? Why is it that we have yet to reach peace?

 

To the victims of Orlando: I’m so sorry that you were the result of a single persons mistake and action against and entire group of people who have done no wrong. To the families, friends, and loved ones of the Orlando shooting victims: I will never know the pain that you are feeling. I hope most people haven’t and I hope that you never have to again. I know the word pain doesn’t even begin to describe what you are feeling right now but please understand me when I say we are here for you. To the rest of the country, the lucky ones, who were able to say “I love you” again to your family and friends: Here is your opportunity to reach out, to help, and to understand. Maybe even untie your shoes.

Dad

Today I was shown a letter titled “To My Dead Beat Father”, and this letter is from a woman who has had all these life experiences and run-ins with her father who has now had a heart attack. She talks about how she knows there is a little girl inside of her trying to be loved and wants to call, but she ultimately decides not to, she goes on in saying that it’s karma that this has happened to him and she doesn’t care. That she shouldn’t be judged nor feel bad for not caring and although I don’t judge her, nor do I say she’s wrong for having those thoughts I would be lying if I said I agreed with them.

My father divorced my mom in 2003. In 2008 we had a falling out that resulted in us not communicating for another 8 years. First, let me say that I do indeed have “daddy issues”. Anybody who has had any remotely similar incident will have some sort of damage because kids aren’t supposed to be told at the age of 13 they aren’t loved or welcomed by the people who are always supposed to. I to this day and probably several more in the future am still figuring out and coping with the damage, because for so many years I pushed it away to where I didn’t have to deal with it. Saying things like “it doesn’t matter”, “who cares”, “his loss” where smoke screens to hide the real thought process. Because, it does matter, it matters so much to me that I still have a hard time watching father daughter dances at weddings or events because I know I will never have that moment with my father. I do care because I’m the one who has to deal with the consequences of your actions. I’m the one who has to look at your eyelashes, feet, and smile every morning in the mirror. And yes, it is your loss, but it’s also mine because I don’t get to have a dad in my life.

Luckily, I was surrounded by so much love and support that I know I have a city worth of people who would do anything in the world for me. Luckily, I was able to make such a strong connection with a few of those people that I have already asked them to be the one to walk me down the aisle and share my first dance with me, because when I didn’t have a stereotypical dad they filled in and did an incredible job. So to all of my part-time, step-in fathers thank you.

Neal you taught me that nobody messes with me and if they do, they will have you to answer too, you taught me how to always know that I am stronger than I believed and you will always be the one I go to for all those stereotypical dad moments, including changing windshield wipers.

Henderson, you taught me how to grow-up. You taught me how to be prepared and take pride in my work, how to be on time and always be polite and professional. You taught how to be respectful even when I had a great sarcastic come back.

On top of having amazing men in my life who showed me what you were supposed to be like Dad, I had an amazing mom who filled both rolls and did it with love, humor and the ability to count to 3 that could scare the crap out of me. Mom, you taught me how to be strong and hopefully, how to not be resentful and to always find the good in people. And although I’m not anywhere near as nice as a person as you are I know I try each day to be more like you.

With all this being said, all the love and support that I obviously have in my life most would think I don’t have those hateful thoughts or the resentment but that’s not true. I have the thoughts of being angry. The questions of trying to figure, dad, if you will ever truly care about me. If it’s even worth trying to fix this relationship. Is there even a relationship to fix? The truth is, for a long time I did hate you, but that only made me hate the world and myself. By being like that I was turning into the exact thing everyone in my life had helped me not become, and I couldn’t let them down. But more importantly, I realized I didn’t hate you, you are my dad and when you said you were sorry I believed you and I still do. I don’t expect you to make up for lost time nor do I expect us to have a father daughter relationship, but I do expect us to work at being friends. I don’t think anything bad in your life is karma for what you did. I won’t let you sit on your death bed in the future and believe that I still have resentment towards you. But, I also won’t let you hurt me like you did 8 years ago. I do forgive you, but I’m not forgetting and the honest truth is, when I forgave you in person it was the most freeing thing I had ever felt. I know that I have my own issues to work through because I’ve waited so long to deal with them, but, I don’t blame them or the extremes they have become on you.

So to the dads out there who walked away, abandoned, and left your children alone in this world congrats. You have just created the worlds strongest kids. We are the kids who will spend every waking moment, trying to hard to make up for you try to little. Thank you, dad, because you have given me my work ethic my strength and my resilience. For the worlds strongest kids, don’t forget that shutting out the world doesn’t hurt the world it only hurts you. And that regret, revenge and anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.

To the writer of “To My Dead Beat Father” you may not want to call him nor do you have to but you should forgive him. Because by not doing so all you do is hurt yourself and you deserve more than that.

New Years Resolution

Ok so…I am starting a little late this year, but starting is none the less starting. So 2016 shall be the year of the healthier, stronger, better, awesomer me. ‘Cause I’ve never said that before. But hopefully with this and a new personal determination I will succeed. Now, instead of making outlandish goals that I won’t live up to I’m being smart and leaving my full new years resolution as “Being A Better Me”. With that being said motivation is KEY so, I am creating a motivation wall.

By the way these aren’t mine, these are just inspiration. I will be posting how, who, what and where mine are and include later.  I should say I’m not trying to lose weight I’m trying to build muscle burn fat and be a nicer person. I’m keeping this post short and will be creating a WHOLE page on the different things I’m doing in 2016. Stay Tuned!!!

Roxy’s

ROOOOXXXXXIIIIIEEEEEE HART!

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No, it’s not a post about Chicago or how much I love the musical it’s about this great ice cream shop in Oklahoma City called Roxy’s.

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All of there ice cream is organic and super natural. They have a very simple menu with only a couple of regular flavor and a few that rotate depending on seasons.

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They have a true love for doing this! Don’t believe me just watch this: Vimeo Video on Roxy’s .  By the way this is Roxy.

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Yep, they named it after their four-legged baby. Now, if that doesn’t make it perfect, then can make one of the meanest ice cream sandwiches you have ever eaten to change your mind.

As well as they make it extremely easy for you to get fat because they do indeed have a truck.

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If you are anywhere near Roxy’s please go and support this wonderful local love of mine here in OKC. Here is the website http://www.roxysicecream.com and the address is:

1732 NW 16th ST. SUITE B, 73106

Sunday-Thursday 12:00-9:00

Friday & Saturday 12:00-10:00

And if you want to constantly make your mouth water by looking at photos of the ice cream you can follow them on Instagram @roxysicecream

If you were wondering what happens when you go to Roxy’s you get this lovely face from your AMAZING roommates! Thanks again Lauren and Minah for being my models!!